May 6, 2009 – May is Mother’s month


A few quick tidbits to get us through the week …

  • Not Becoming My Mother – This book is getting a lot of attention lately, and is the topic of a brief but great event coming to the Boston area, Wednesday, May 6. Harvard Book Store in Cambridge is hosting Ruth Reichl, editor in chief of Gourmet Magazine. Unlike the extravagant and peppy material of Gourmet, Reichl recently wrote a book about her mother, who like many of that generation, lived a depressing life of a bored and desperate housewife. Don’t misunderstand me here, this is not to say housewives are board and depressed in general, – they’re certainly not – but it seems they were in those days. This was in the days before women’s rights and independence, and before successful career women, a time when moms instead were popping, “mother’s little helpers,” every morning with breakfast and Valium with liquor at dinner. How far we’ve come. The book illustrates it much better than I do, as does NPR, who featured a a fantastic podcast and discussion on her and the book.
  • Love is a language – I’ve mentioned before, my underlying fatherhood philosophy is that the best thing a man can do for his children is love their mother. Thank God I finally learned how to do that. I remember some years back, I worked for a good man, Scott Carr. He was then and is now a father of four, and a devoted husband. I was about six months into my first round of fatherhood, and only about three years into my marriage. Suffice it to say, it was really tough. My wife and I were disconnected. We were both perpetually exhausted. Within 3 months of our son being born, we had moved into a new city – across the country – I had just started a new job, and on top of all the changes, we were both learning to do two things we’d never done before: Parent – and love each other, while learning to be parents. A lot wasn’t working. It showed at home, and at the office. My new boss, Mr. Carr, suggested I read this book. I did, and I promise you, my life got instantly better. I don’t claim that it is perfect by any standard, but reading the book, and understanding how different people express and accept love differently, made a huge difference for me as a husband – and by default – as a father. You can pick it up at Amazon for about 10 bucks. Trust me. It’s wonderful and is written for men and women. You can also start learning your language with this test.
  • Mother’s Day Central AKA, “Men, we’re going to make it really easy for you.” There are actually some pretty neat last minute gift ideas at this site. Because, you know, we really don’t know of any minutes other than the very last ones. But, as we strongly feel in our house, nothing beats the best kind of Mother’s Day gift: The one made from scratch, which is shaping up to be the next post

More to follow … enjoy the jumps!


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